It’s all God’s
I was panicking … you know, the shaking, sweat on your brow, hyperventilating kind of panic only the thought of packing up all your belongings and moving to a new town can summon. Sitting in MY room among piles of MY stuff, I called Michael and listed all the things I would have to change because I was marrying him:
• MY home. Not only did I have to move to a new house, I had to move to a new town … a bigger town. I also had to move into a smaller place we could afford.
• MY job. I’m keeping the same job, but who knows if down the line that will have to change.
• MY schedule. Because I’m keeping my job, I am commuting 25 minutes back and forth each day.
• MY traditions. He told me that some holidays we would have to spend with his family, not mine. I told him MY holidays would not be interrupted by his family.
• MY free time.
• MY spending habits.
• MY name.
MY, MY, MY, MY, MY!
I loudly exclaimed that I just didn’t know if I could marry him because it would change MY life too much. The weight of all these changes suddenly became too heavy to bear. Upset, Michael said he had to go and would call me later.
And as I silently sat in the middle of all MY things, God spoke to my heart: “First, none of this is yours anyway. It’s mine. And second, have you ever considered the sacrifices Michael is making to marry you?”
I picked up my Bible from the depths of the piles on the floor and began to read.
“Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all.” (1 Chronicles 29:11)
“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” (Colossians 1:16)
Not only were all my “things” created through him and for him, but Michael was created by God and for God. And in that moment God helped me remember that Michael is a blessing and that the things I possess are a blessing and all of it is to be used for God’s glory. So instead of looking at the changes in my life as sacrifices (and burdens) I started looking at ways I could use the changes for God’s glory:
• God’s home: Our new apartment is in the same town as our church. We can use it to host the students in the student ministry we work with and for the college students we are friends with. I will also start hosting a girls’ bible study in that apartment next month.
• God’s job: For now, I still get to spend my days writing and meeting and encouraging the people in the community. My job is flexible and through it, God provides me money to live comfortably.
• God’s schedule: It may use an hour of my day to commute back and forth, but it gives me time to sing praises to God and spend time in prayer.
• God’s traditions: Family is great. I love Michael’s family. I love my family. The most important thing we do as a family (no matter which one) is glorify and praise God together.
• God’s free time: It’s true, once Michael and I are married, there will be less “me time” and more “us time.” But that gives us as a couple that much more time to bring glory to the Creator.
• God’s spending habits: Michael is a much better money manager than I. Working together on budgets will make us both better stewards of God’s money.
• God’s name: My name will change from Oliver to Drews. I never had a problem with changing my name … when I was stressed, it was just another change I could think of to make me feel sorry for myself. When I change my name, it will be a testament to the blessing God has given me in Michael and it is a very public expression of our desire to live in marriage as God intended it.